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Forum "Korrekturlesen" - English Korrektur
English Korrektur < Korrekturlesen < Englisch < Sprachen < Vorhilfe
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English Korrektur: Frage (beantwortet)
Status: (Frage) beantwortet Status 
Datum: 11:17 Do 02.07.2009
Autor: Dinker

Hallo

Wäre wirklich sehr dankbar um Korrektur


Protagonist
In Fahrenheit 451 Montag ist he protagonist. He is a proud fireman who makes his work with accuracy. On his lip you can see a constantly smile. While is 10 years fireman career he has never question his work. Their work is different from our firemen, because they don’t put fire out, but they are responsible to set fire on. But an encounter with a young woman will end his entire life and nothing will be so as before. The reader accompanies his transformation process from a model citizen to a dissident. Because he has never read a book before and always acts according the government statement he is too weak to change his life without helps. Therefore he applies him to Faber a former literal professor. Faber teaches him the important of book and in what a bad way the society has changed. He terms him as coward, because he could see this change, but didn’t undertake (?) something. When Beatty requests him to ignite his own house, he has pleasure at this work. Because this symbolises that he has concluded with his previous life

Mit dem alten Leben abgeschlossen haben. Wie sage ich das?


In Brave new World there are two Protagonists. In the first part the novel revolves around Bernard. We gets detail information about him and accompany him by his reservation stay. But when he returns to the Brave new World with John, the savage moves in the central point (in den Mittelpunkt). The reader identifies with him and shares his opinion.

At first glance everyone one seems to be happy, because there aren’t any conflicts and no reason to be depressed or mourned. But when you try to look inside the people, you see their complete behavior based on manipulation and intimidation. Because of this condition the people doesn’t realise what a poor life they lead. Without any freedom and rights, because the government control their life. As a result the people aren’t able to form their own opinion, so that their life is definitely empty and nobody has a target.

All elements what the humankind has reach since the In the discussion with Beatty you can see very obviously that they don’t debate on the same level. Beatty is the teacher and Montag the student.


None of both worlds he can live according to his ideas. In the Reservation world he is an outsider and doesn’t accept from the others, based on his mother misbehaviour, who has affairs with married men. When he has the opportunity to go to the Brave new World he is very glad and hopes he can lead a life according what he has learnt by reading Shakespeare novel. But his expectations don’t come true. It’s terrible for him to see, how the people life. Therefore he decides to withdraw to a remote place, where he can lead a life according to his ideas. But already a short time he is disturbed from people who are interested how he lives. He is interviewed from/by journalists and eventually takes place in a mass orgy. This incident makes him so much depress that he can’t see another solution than to commit suicide.


In their frenzy and hysteria they lost their sanity completely, so that they aren’t able to envision what consequences it could have.

In the philosophic discussion in chapter 15 coincides two sompletely different ideas. Both of them  on his notion and try(ies) to jusitify it. Eventually John gains the , because Mond isn’t able to counter on his Statement (Ist nicht fähig auf seine Ausführungen zu kontern) and only shrugs his shoulders.

Danke
gruss Dinker



        
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English Korrektur: Antwort
Status: (Antwort) fertig Status 
Datum: 11:43 Do 02.07.2009
Autor: M.Rex

Hallo Dinker

Ein paar Dinge, die ich dir schon oft verbessert habe.

Nach "to be able to""is allowed to" kommt ein Infinitiv.

Nach "has/have" kommt im Passiv kein Infinitiv, sondern z.B. has reached, has finished

Die Kommasetzung vor "who", "which", "that"

"to undertake" heisst "bestatten", nicht "unternehmen", dazu aber das oft verlinkte Wörterbuch auf leo.org. Du kannst nicht einfach solche Begriffe aus dem Deutschen übernehmen.


Hallo

>  
> Wäre wirklich sehr dankbar um Korrektur
>  
>
> Protagonist

In Fahrenheit 451 Montag ist he protagonist. He is a proud fireman who makes his work with accuracy. On his lip you can see a constantly smile. While is 10 years fireman career he has never questioned his work. Their work is different from our firemen, because they don’t put fire out, but they are responsible to set fire on???. But an encounter with a young woman will end his entire life and nothing will be so as beforeLEO!!!. The reader accompanies his transformation process from a model citizen to a dissident. Because he has never read a book before and always acts according the government statement he is too weak to change
his life without helps. Therefore he applies him to Faber a former literal professor. Faber teaches him the important of books and in what a bad way the society has changed. He terms him as coward, because he could see this change, but didn’t undertake something. When Beatty requests him to ignite his own house, he has pleasure at this work.
Because this symbolises that he has concluded with his previous life

> Mit dem alten Leben abgeschlossen haben. Wie sage ich das?

Leo.org hilft.

>  

In Brave new World there are two Protagonists. In the first part the novel revolvesLEO!!! around Bernard. We  get[red]s[red] detailed information about him and accompany him by his reservation stay. But when he returns to the Brave new World with John,
the savage moves in the central point (in den Mittelpunkt)LEO!!!.  The reader identifies with him and shares his opinion.
At first glance everyone one seems to be happy, because there aren’t any conflicts and no reason to be depressed or mourned. But when you try to look inside the people, you see their complete behavior based on manipulation and
intimidation. Because of this condition the people doesn’t realise what a poor life they lead. Without any freedom and rights, because the government control their life. As a result the people aren’t able to form their own opinion, so that their life is definitely empty and nobody has a target.
All elements what the humankind has reach since the In the discussion with Beatty you can see very obviously that they don’t debate on the same level. Beatty is the teacher and Montag the student.

None of both worlds he can live according to his ideas. In the Reservation world he is an outsider and doesn’tisn not accepted from the others, based on his mother misbehaviour, who has affairs with married men. When he has the opportunity to go to the Brave new World he is very glad and hopes he can lead a life according what he has learned by reading Shakespeare novel. But his expectations don’t come true. It’s terrible for him to see, how the people life. Therefore he decides to withdraw to a remote place, where he can lead a life according to his ideas. But already a short time he is disturbed from people who are interested how he lives. He is interviewed from/by journalists and eventually takes place in a mass orgy. This incident makes him so much depress that he can’t see another solution than to commit suicide.  

In their frenzy and hysteria they lost their sanity completely, so that they aren’t able to envision Was dahin muss überlasse ich dir what consequences it could have. In the philosophic discussion in chapter 15 coincides two sompletely different ideas. Both of them  on his notion and try(ies) to jusitify it??. Eventually John gains the ,
because Mond isn’t able to counter on his Statement (Ist nicht fähig auf seine Ausführungen zu kontern)Leo and only shrugs his shoulders.

>
> Danke
>  gruss Dinker
>  


Marius


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English Korrektur: Mitteilung
Status: (Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig Status 
Datum: 09:40 Fr 03.07.2009
Autor: Dinker

Hallo

Leo ist ja gut und recht, nur liefert mir dies nicht die gwünschten Resultate

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English Korrektur: Mitteilung
Status: (Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig Status 
Datum: 23:14 Sa 04.07.2009
Autor: Arcesius


> Hallo
>  
> Leo ist ja gut und recht, nur liefert mir dies nicht die
> gwünschten Resultate


Jedoch wenigstens richtige...

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English Korrektur: Mitteilung
Status: (Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig Status 
Datum: 23:25 Di 07.07.2009
Autor: Dinker

Lass bitte künftig solche Bemerkungen, oder sonst such dir ein Opfer an der ETH

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English Korrektur: Mitteilung
Status: (Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig Status 
Datum: 11:49 Mi 08.07.2009
Autor: Arcesius

Hallo

> Lass bitte künftig solche Bemerkungen,

Ok, tut mir Leid, werde ich machen..


> oder sonst such dir ein Opfer an der ETH

Ich habe kein Interesse daran, mich mit jemandem anzulegen oder jemand belehren zu wollen.

Ich versteh nur nicht warum du das Gefühl hast, du seist besser als ein Wörterbuch, zumal du von allen Mitgliedern, die dir was korrigieren den Tipp bekommst, auf einen zurückzugreifen.

Grüsse, Amaro

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English Korrektur: Mitteilung
Status: (Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig Status 
Datum: 13:01 Mi 08.07.2009
Autor: espritgirl

Hallo Dinker [winken],


> Lass bitte künftig solche Bemerkungen, oder sonst such dir
> ein Opfer an der ETH

Warum? Amaro hat doch Recht.

Außerdem geht es hier nicht darum, dass sich irgendjemand ein Opfer sucht.

Also lass du bitte in Zukunft solche Bemerkungen.




Liebe Grüße

Sarah :-)

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