between mouthfuls < Korrekturlesen < Englisch < Sprachen < Vorhilfe
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Ich habe diese Frage in keinem Forum auf anderen Internetseiten gestellt.
hi. kann mir vielleicht jemand die frage beantworten, es geht um between mouthfuls. das theaterstück. ich soll einen aufsatz schreiben über das thema business.
die aufgabenstellung lautet:
show how the topic business is presented in the play?
kann mir da jemand helfen? danke.
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es tut mir leid, für die dreistigkeit. dennoch wollte ich ja nciht dass mir jemand den aufsatz schreibt sondern vielleicht nru keywords gibt, mit denen ich vielleicht was anfangen kann um diesen aufsatz zu schreiben und umfangreicher zu gestalten.
vielleicht kennt ja jemand dieses theaterstück und kann mri vielleicht trotzdem etwas helfen.
sicher schreibe ich den aufsatz dann selbst.. ;)
danke schonmal im vorraus.
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Hey,
> es tut mir leid, für die dreistigkeit. dennoch wollte ich
> ja nciht dass mir jemand den aufsatz schreibt
Das hättest du vll auch mal so in deinen Artikel schreiben sollen 
> vielleicht kennt ja jemand dieses theaterstück und kann
> mri vielleicht trotzdem etwas helfen.
> sicher schreibe ich den aufsatz dann selbst.. ;)
Schreib du einfach mal deinen Aufsatz, den kannst du dann hier online stellen, und dann kann er korrigiert werden, ggf werden dann noch Aspekte gefunden, die noch in deinen Aufsatz hinein gehören.
Liebne Grüße,
Sarah 
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ok.. also das is das was ich schon habe:
show how the topic business is presented in the play.
The topic business is presented in the way that it is the most important thing instead of his children. Martin is not interested in his children because he is more interested in his job. He tooks on three jobs. It says that only men are interested in business so Martin works for Mr. Pearce.
Martin talks to his wife Polly the whole time about this topic. Women are not interested in business. There are so much workaholics. You can see this for example with Martin. He tooks on three jobs to go on holiday. Business rules the life of Martin. He cannot live without buisness.
Then there is the poor waiter. He has a very bad job. He is taken with a pinch of salt. But as a waiter you are able to learn so much about the people because they talk so much about life or other topics.
vl kann mir ja jemand noch sagen, ob da noch was fehlt oder man noch was dazuschreibn könnte oder vielleicht auch fehler verbessern. wäre lieb.
danke schön
liebe grüße
jacqueline
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hi..
vielen vielen dank für die korrektur! hat mir syehr geholfen.. nru leider weis ich nicht, was ich an dem letzten abschnitt noch ausarbeiten soll. vl kannst du mir sagen, was genau holprig klingt?
vl hilft es mri ja dann das noch auszuarbeiten?!
aber hier mal meinen verbesserungsvorschlag dank deiner hilfe:
The topic business-which is the mainpart of the conversation of two couples in a restaurant-is presented in the way that it is the most important thing instead of Martin`s children. Martin does not protect the interests of his children because he is more interested in his job. He took on three jobs. That shows that Martin is very busy. Business swattes him so he neglects all his other important duties which are important in life. The play says that only men are interested in business so Martin works for Mr. Pearce.
Martin talks to his wife Polly all the time about this work at the restaurant but she is not interested in it. Women are not interested in business. There are so much workaholics. You can see this for example with Martin. He took on three jobs to go on holiday. Business rules the life of him. He cannot live without business.
Then there is the poor waiter. He has a very bad job. But as a waiter you are able to learn much about people because they talk much about their life or other topics.
Business took three weeks for Martin to get a contract signed. In this three weeks he has an affair with Mr. Pearce`s wife. So business is also presented in a negative way because in this time he had this affair with Mrs Pearce.
Then it says that the boss is the person who is allowed to do what he or she wants in his or her job. You are able to see this for example that it is said that Mr Pearce always likes to mix his business with a bit of other stuff.
Business is also presented in that way that it is very ambitious. You have no time to think about anything. So Martin has not had a moment to miss anyone.
All in all it is to say that business modyfies Martin in a negative way.
ich bedanke mich jetzt schon mal für deine 2. überarbeitung.
liebe grüße jacqueline
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Hey du *winke*
> The topic business-which is the mainpart of the
> conversation of two couples in a restaurant-hier kannst du Kommas setzen, brauchst du nach meinem Wissen nach allerdings nicht. In einem englischen Text sollten keine "-" auftauchen.is presented in
> the way that it is the most important thing instead of
> Martin's children. Martin does not protect the interests of
> his children because he is more interested in his job. He
> took on three jobs. That shows that Martin is very busy.
> Business swattes him so he neglects all his other important
> duties which are important in life. The play says that only
> men are interested in business so Martin works for Mr.
> Pearce.
![[ok]](/images/smileys/ok.gif "[ok]")
> Martin talks to his wife Polly all the time about this
> work at the restaurant but she is not interested in it.
> Women are not interested in business. Ist das deine Behauptung oder die des Theaterstückes? Solltest du noch dazu schreiben. There are so much
> workaholics s]. You can see this for[/s]as you can see it on the example of example with Martin. He
> took on three jobs to go on holiday. Business rules the
> life of him. He cannot live without business.
> Then there is the poor waiter. He has a very bad job. But
> as a waiter you "he" würde sich an dieser Stelle eigentlich mehr anbieten, demzufolge auch "is" satt "are"are able to learn much about people because
> they talk much about their life or other topicsbesser: themes .
> Business took three weeks for Martin to get a contract
> signed. In this three weeks he has an affair with Mr.
> Pearce's wife. So business is also presented in a negative
> way because in this time he had this affair with Mrs
> Pearce.
> Then it says that the boss is the person who is allowed to
> do what he or she wants in his or her job. You are able to
> see this for example that it is said that Mr Pearce always
> likes to mix his business with a bit of other stuff.
> Business is also presented in that way that it is very
> ambitious. You have no time to think about anything. So
> Martin has not had a moment to miss anyone.
>
> All in all it is to say that business modyfies Martin in a
> negative way.
Wenn du einen Abschnitt hast, den du mit "all in all" hast, dann sollte dir bewusst sein, dass dieser Teil in etwa 2/3 so lang sein sollte, wie die Abschnitte zuvor, das aber nur als kleiner Hinweis.
Zu dem Abschnitt, der hier leider nicht mehr steht :-(
Versuche ein paar Satzverknüpfungen zu benutzen.
Liebe Grüße,
Sarah
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also.. so denke das is jetzt ok so. vl kannste ja doch ncoh ein letztes mal drüber lesen.;)
wär dir sehr dankbar.
also..
wir haben aber in englisch im unterricht gesagt, dass wenn wir n comment schreiben dann der abschlusssatz nochmal kurz zusammenfasst, was gesagt wurde mit dem all in all it is to say that... irgendwas
und im großen und ganzen is das doch so, dass des den ins negative verändert.
liebe grüße
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| Status: |
(Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig  | | Datum: | 19:31 Do 14.06.2007 | | Autor: | espritgirl |
Die Frage ist ja im anderen Artikel beantwortet
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also.. so denke das is jetzt ok so. vl kannste ja doch ncoh ein letztes mal drüber lesen.;)
wär dir sehr dankbar.
also..
wir haben aber in englisch im unterricht gesagt, dass wenn wir n comment schreiben dann der abschlusssatz nochmal kurz zusammenfasst, was gesagt wurde mit dem all in all it is to say that... irgendwas
und im großen und ganzen is das doch so, dass des den ins negative verändert.
liebe grüße
also hier:
business:
The topic business which is the mainpart of the conversation of two couples in a restaurant is presented in the way that it is the most important thing instead of Martin`s children. Martin does not protect the interests of his children because he is more interested in his job. He took on three jobs. That shows that Martin is very busy. Business swattes him so he neglects all his other important duties which are important in life. The play says that only men are interested in business so Martin works for Mr. Pearce.
Martin talks to his wife Polly all the time about this work at the restaurant but she is not interested in it. Women are not interested in business. There are so much workaholics as you can see it on the example of Martin. He took on three jobs to go on holiday. Business rules the life of him. He cannot live without business.
Then there is the poor waiter. He has a very bad job. But as a waiter he is able to learn much about people because they talk much about their life or other themes.
Business took three weeks for Martin to get a contract signed. In this three weeks he has an affair with Mr. Pearce`s wife so business is also presented in a negative way because in this time he had this affair with Mrs Pearce.
Then it says that the boss is the person who is allowed to do what he or she wants in his or her job. You are able to see this for example that it is said that Mr Pearce always likes to mix his business with a bit of other stuff.
Business is also presented in that way that it is very ambitious. You have no time to think about anything. So Martin has not had a moment to miss anyone.
All in all it is to say that business modifies Martin in a negative way.
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Hey *winke*
> wir haben aber in englisch im unterricht gesagt, dass wenn wir
> comment schreiben dann der abschlusssatz nochmal kurz zusammenfasst, > was gesagt wurde mit dem all in all it is to say that... irgendwas
Nun gut, wenn das so im Unterricht besprochen wurde, dann solltest du dich daran halten!
> und im großen und ganzen is das doch so, dass des den ins negative
> verändert.
Yepp, und das habe ich auch nicht bestritten
> The topic business which is the mainpart of the
> conversation of two couples in a restaurant is presented in
> the way that it is the most important thing instead of
> Martin's children. Martin does not protect the interests of
> his children because he is more interested in his job. He
> took zweimal überlesen, muss aber "take" heißen, wird ja alles in simple present geschrieben on three jobs. That shows that Martin is very busy.
> Business swattes him so he neglects all his other important
> duties which are important in life. The play says that only
> men are interested in business so Martin works for Mr.
> Pearce.
> Martin talks to his wife Polly all the time about this
> work at the restaurant but she is not interested in it.
> Women are not interested in business. There are so much
> workaholics as you can see it on the example of Martin. He
> tookauch hier natürlich wieder take on three jobs to go on holiday. Business rules the
> life of him. He cannot live without business.
> Then there is the poor waiter. He has a very bad job. But
> as a waiter he is able to learn much about people because
> they talk much about their life or other themes.
> Business took three weeks for Martin to get a contract
> signed. In this three weeks he has an affair with Mr.
> Pearce's wife so business is also presented in a negative
> way because in this time he had this affair with Mrs
> Pearce.
> Then it says Then it is saidthat the boss is the person who is allowed to
> do what he or she wants in his or her job. You are able to
> see this for example that it is said that Mr Pearce always
> likes to mix his business with a bit of other stuff.
> Business is also presented in that way that it is very
> ambitious. You have no time to think about anything. So
> Martin has not had a moment to miss anyone.
>
> All in all it is to say that business modifies Martin in a
> negative way.
Am Ende noch eine Anmerkung: du benutzt häufiog das Wort "business" - vielleicht kannst du dafür ja noch ein Synonym finden und dieses dann abwechselnd verwenden.
Ansonsten ist der Text okay.
Liebe Grüße,
Sarah
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| Status: |
(Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig | | Datum: | 15:20 So 17.06.2007 | | Autor: | matux |
$MATUXTEXT(ueberfaellige_frage)
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Business took three weeks for Martin to get a contract signed. In this three weeks he has an affair with Mr. Pearce`s wife. So business is also presented in a negative way because in this time he had this affair with Mrs Pearce.
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